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  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Default Stillborn or Miscarriage?

    OK now Im a little confused over this. Today my SIL gave borth to a baby boy. His was not alive she was 19 weeks but was just so tiny and perfect I mean his little fingers and toes even his little winky were all perfectly formed, you could make out his tiny facial features and all. I was there through the labour and birth. After leaving the hospital I was at the shops and this woman asked me how my day was so I told her my SIL had a stillborn and I have just left the hospital. She said oh that so said blah blah blah than asked how far along she was I said 19 weeks and she said Oh thats just a miscarriage JUST A MISCARRIAGE WTF ( my bro and SIL are heartbroken this was their frst son.) I was shocked for the second time. The first was the options they were given.

    DOCTORS EXACT WORDS once you deliver you will have two choices you can have a private cremation or we can send the remains to ____ hospital to be disposed of with ohter human waste. HUMAN WASTE - Hello this was my nephew you effing idiot ho dare you speak like that.
    So when is the loss of a baby a stillborn


    His name is Joshua Ryan and he is being cremated in a private ceremony next week

    RIP my angel nephew
    Love Auntie Kerri
    Me-40 My DP 40
    DD1-19 My bubba girl is a mumma now
    DS-15 The young man of my life

    DD2-3 My Special little princess
    GD- 19 months

  2. #2
    DareToDream is offline Banned
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    Default

    Oh Kerri Im so sorry for your familys loss. So sad to hear of another baby growing their angel wings to soon.

    I will keep your SIL and brother in my thoughts.

    RIP little Joshua Ryan

  3. #3
    Scruffy's Avatar
    Scruffy is offline Member
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    Default

    Oh Kerri, I am so sorry to hear of your family's tragic news.

    In Australia, all children born before 20 weeks are deemed a "miscarriage", whereas at 20 weeks and after are deemed "born" - they legally require a name, a birth certificate and formal funeral. It's an arbitary line in many respects, especially considering that due dates can be so fuzzy. And it's one that causes much angst in both directions. I am sorry that this has happened to your family.
    The Monkey Princess Nov 2007
    Read her story here
    Beanie Bub making an appearance in June 2011. Tick Tock
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    This post reflects my personal opinion. If in doubt, talk to your friendly local health professional

  4. #4
    fancy's Avatar
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    Default

    I am very sorry for your family's loss
    I have only heard this so it very possibly could be different...
    I think before 20 weeks is classed as a miscarriage.
    However, It very well may be if she gives birth it is classed as a registered birth.
    Back when I had my son 19 years ago, it was not registered as a birth till after 24 weeks.
    There are a few lovely ladies here who have had darling babies before 20 weeks and should be able to clear it up for you.

    After leaving the hospital I was at the shops and this woman asked me how my day was so I told her my SIL had a stillborn and I have just left the hospital. She said oh that so said blah blah blah than asked how far along she was I said 19 weeks and she said Oh thats just a miscarriage JUST A MISCARRIAGE WTF ( my bro and SIL are heartbroken this was their frst son.) I was shocked for the second time.
    Some people are just f***ing rude!!!


    RIP little Joshua
    You are a special angel now
    Last edited by fancy; 16-01-2009 at 12:34 AM.
    Me 39 Him 34

    TTC for over 3 years with Fertility treatment (PCOS)

    22/12/89 Baby Bernard, 40 weeks, 7 pounds, cause of death, unknown

  5. #5
    fancy's Avatar
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    Default

    I just found this in the "Info Library"on the Birth website.
    Go to the "Info Library" section and look up miscarriage.


    In Australia, miscarriage is defined as a baby who dies before 20 weeks gestation and/or less than 400 grams in birth weight. Babies who die after 20 weeks gestation (or who weigh more than 400 grams) are classified as being stillborn. This definition is not applied worldwide. The World Health Organisation (WHO) defines miscarriage as being up to 23 weeks of the pregnancy and 500 grams in weight, and other countries will define miscarriage as up until 24, 26 or 28 weeks of pregnany. The definition of a miscarriage is also usually divided up into 'early miscarriages' (before 13 weeks) or 'late miscarriages' (after 13 weeks and before 20 weeks). About 80% of miscarriages will occur before 12 weeks.
    Last edited by fancy; 16-01-2009 at 11:13 AM.
    Me 39 Him 34

    TTC for over 3 years with Fertility treatment (PCOS)

    22/12/89 Baby Bernard, 40 weeks, 7 pounds, cause of death, unknown

  6. #6
    Jodieh's Avatar
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    Default

    I lost my first baby at 19 weeks gestation. She was just so perfect but just so tiny at only 287g. It was the most heartbreaking day of my life having to give birth to my little baby which we knew was no longer with us.

    It was definately a miscarriage as it was before 20 weeks, but i do prefer to say she was stillborn because she was perfectly formed and was breathing inside me only hours earlier.

    She was cremated with the other angel babies at the hospital and we scattered the ashes in a special memorial garden at the mater mothers hospital.
    D - 10/10/05 - 19 Weeks
    E - 21/09/06 - 37 Weeks (2.975kg)

    J - 22/06/08 - 31 Weeks (1.646kg)
    C - 08/09/10 - 38 Weeks (3.210kg)

  7. #7
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    Default

    Kez I am so sorry for the heartbreak you and your family is going through right now.

    Rest In Peace baby Joshua Ryan
    Me - the Twi-nerdDH - the computer geek 33

    DS1 5
    DD 4 our breastfeeding journey ended after 22 months

    DS2 2 >>birth story<< the boobie bandit at 2 1/2

    Our family is perfect and complete

  8. #8
    Join Date
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    Default

    Kez so sorry for the loss of your nephew.

    Fly free Joshua Ryan with our angels, may they guide your way in heaven.

    Suzanne
    DS1 R - 01/05
    DS2 A - born sleeping 14/03/06 due to TTTS
    DS3 C - born sleeping 15/03/06 due to TTTS
    DS4 J - 05/07
    DS5 C - 12/09
    M/C's July 2006 and January 2009

  9. #9
    Breeze's Avatar
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    Default

    I'm so sorry for the loss of little Joshua.

    RIP dear child.xx
    PCOS and a very lucky Mum to two wonderful girls!
    Miss 5 and Miss 4

  10. #10
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    kerri, i am soo sorry your family is going thru this, your in my thoughts.
    i cannot believe the nerve of that woman at the shops!!! how bloody rude!!!
    Massive hugs!
    call if you need to talk hun...
    hayley
    Hayley Nov1986 DBFShaun Feb1984 Kelsey Jan2007 Jackson Nov2008
    "If you sometimes feel a little useless, offended or depressed...
    Remember that YOU were once the fastest and most victorious little sperm out of millions"

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