Due in July 2012 - 1 down 2 to go - 2nd tri we'll really grow!!

[LoveNeverFails]

Nawww the Doppler would be so nice to have handy :-) unfortunately its an extra expense that's a want and not a need for us so we can't get one :-( would like one though! My doctor is useless at finding the heartbeat. It's funny coz she is a brilliant doctor, but her vice is using those machines, she can never seem to get a heartbeat for more than a second haha. So bad. I'm not worried coz I can feel bub moving alot already. He or she is nudging me as i type this actually! Aww love it :-)

Wow miss C I am getting ripped off. My scan is going to cost $200 but I dont have a choice, being semi-rural I can't shop around I remember with last bub our scan cost us almost nothing. It wasn't one of those fancy 3D ones coz I saw a few of my friends 3D 4D ultrasound pics on facebook and thought they looked super creepy, honestly, one of them looked like a deformed alien. I decided I didn't want to see my child semi-developed in that much detail as terrible as that sounds. I'm assuming that's why it was so much cheaper? But it looks like this time I'll have no choice but to check in on bub 3D styles. It'd wanna be the advanced one for $200!! I guess it's a much more accurate scan for telling the sex though that way so that's a plus. And we will get 85 back from Medicare so that is also good. I'm just not looking forward to seeing such a detailed view of my unborn child. Maybe it'll be different coz it's ours, not someone elses...you know, maybe I'll be all biased coz it's ours and think its cute .... God I feel terrible admitting I don't like the look of those scans but can't help it lol.

On different note.... Who is feeling any better and less tired? I am definately less tired. I find I'm not napping as often, but at night still crash early. No more morning sickness but today the dreaded reflux-indigestion has set in. Stocked up on rennies so I'm ready for it but yuck it's horrible.

[Jods14]

Sorry haven't been around much. Been really struggling lately. 17 Weeks today!and it's a big and busy week for us next week. We have our physio class on Monday night and I have my next midwife appointment on Wednesday. And now I really don't want to go to the hospital at all.
With the way my mental health is at the moment I'm really scared, no terrified, I'm going to end up in the mother and baby unit. Uncertainty and lack of control is really playing games with an underlying personality disorder, and my GP and psychologist feel that the mother and baby unit isn't the place that will be appropriate for me to end up both before and after bubs is born. Mostly because medication and ECT aren't going to help me manage my personality disorder. My GP made a deal with me that we try and stay away from the mother and baby unit. I don't know what I was thinking, maybe I wasn't, but I agreed. I guess when I go back and see him in two weeks my question to him will be how the hell do we do that?
I've just got to get through the next two weeks first.
I'm seeing my psychologist before I see the midwife on Wednesday, hopefully we can work out a strategy to get me through the door. Do you think it would be too much to ask my mental health case manager to come with me? It's not feasible for me to drive into town for my psych appointment, then all the way home to pick up Rob, then back into town for midwife, besides I don't think I want him to see how much this is really stressing me out. He's so been there and done that, laid back that even that it annoys me to some extent.

Anyway, better get ready to go to work.

love & hugs to you all,
Jods x

[Miss_C]

Hey Jods, I am so sorry you are still struggling and I guess you always will you poor thing but it sounds liek you do have support BUT include hubby, they may "appear" laid back about it all but quite often it's just their way of coping and excluding them will only make things worse IMO.

Now here's an out of the box suggestion (it helped me when I was really anxious and depressed) and please use this forum as the outlet but I found it really helpful to NOT write down all the negative things I was feeling, I just accepted that they were a part of my condition and pretty much beyond my control so by shifting my focus it made me feel better. This was done by writing and sharing all the positive things, all the good things even if it was how much I enjoyed that last cup of coffee, why it tasted so good, what made me smile that day etc.

As an example my tits are killing me - I mean seriously I want to cut them off, and my nipples hurt so much I get tears in my eyes when I take my bra off and anything ANYTHING rubs on them - but I keep thinking my boobs are getting ready to feed my baby, they didn't hurt like this last time around and I was unable to feed Jake, maybe this is a sign I will be able to, my boobs hurt cos my baby is inside me sending messages to my boobs saying get ready to feed me!!

I know this may sound trite or ridiculous but I would love to see you share some of your good things too - does any of that make sense?

Loves and hugs sweetheart.


Loveneverfails - despite all my ringing around we ended up going with an expensive option of $320 with about $120 back from medicare - decided I wanted the best and we have gone privately AND with the Dr that did my HSG - we was a lovely man and when I left he told me I would get pregnant so vehemently that I feel really good going back to him for the morph he is supposed to be the best in Brisbane. I have a thread on the ante natal testing page as to our reasons why etc.

[LoveNeverFails]

JODS: sorry to hear things haven't gotten much better. I agree with Miss C try to focus on the positives. It really does help! In all situations in life. Don't forget, the best is yet to come. This may be terribly difficult but keep your eye on the prize, your going to be a mother, that is truly wonderful! It's the greatest gift bestowed on a woman and YOU get to have it! All fears and problems aside, you are well equipped for the job. You have a belly, a hoohaa, boobies, two hands and a heartbeat. You will be able to take care of this little one. To feed, nurture and love him/her. It's just traveling through the doubts and annoying preggo symptoms. Just remember pregnancy and labor is temporary. Very temporary. Then you have the rest of your life with your beautiful child to enjoy ahead of you :-) definately talk to your mental health helper about all these anxieties and fears. They need to know to help you more. Hubby may seem cool calm and collected but you can bet most of that is for you. He is being a stable pillar of strength for your benefit. He probably knows how stressed and anxious you are even though you've been trying to hide it from him. U should talk to him, he could be your greatest encourager if only you let him in.

MISS C: hey If u can afford to go best then I say why the hell not?! We would go private all the way if we could... But that's a luxury that is way out of our reach. If I were having a "high risk" pregnancy of course we would somehow make it work... But my pregnancy is completely stock standard so thank God for that! I have a friend who is paying the same as you and she usually does things private etc so I'm guessing she's going it like you :-) hey if you have the choice, you'd be mad not to IMO!

[jesstickles]

I'm not very good at keeping up with this thread!! I read and go to reply but get distracted!!

Jods14 - I hope you are ok. It sounds like you have a good plan in place and loveneverfails has given some great advice!

LoveNeverFails - I am just getting my scan done at the hospital, I am like you in that I am stock standard (at this point) so will just go with ever they give me on Tuesday!

Miss C - you must be so excited!!! You sound very comfortable with the place you are going to for the scan!!

Summerr - that must be a relief to hear the heart beat!! My GP pulls out the doppler every appointment but like a few of you its been about 3 or so weeks between appointments. It is nerve wrecking wondering if all is ok!!

JoW - Wow your Feb is fairly busy! Hopefully it helps pass the time!!!

Kars - how are you feeling?

I think I have covered everyone - if I have missed someone I am sorry! But that is as far back as I can see!

So I have a scan on Tuesday and then a GP appointment on the 13th. If I am 'ridiculously low risk' (that is what the midwife said at the last appointment) my hospital Obs appointment on the 14th will be cancelled.

Being that this is my first pregnancy - I go through phases where it doesn't feel real - I feel movement now and again. I get uncomfortable sleeping and sometimes sitting. But it will feel more real soon enough?

I can't remember if I have updated since the physio class - my DH has now been hassling me EVERYDAY - I kid you not if I have done my pelvic floor exercises... that and we also learnt the proper way to poo without ruining our insides... Pregnancy really is a miracle considering what it does to our bodies!!

Hope everyone has a weekend, I am nearly ready for bed - although I know I won't sleep through and will wake multiple times!!! Ergh!!

[Jods14]

Thanks girls. Tired and grizzly tonight. Mental health case manager was away today, but left a message for her to call me on Tuesday, and told the receptionist I needed to see her before Wednesday, so hopefully she'll contact me then.

Yes it all makes sense. We did a mindfulness exercise on Tuesday that just focuses on being in and enjoying the moment that you are in. I really need to practice a lot more. I've also been trying to notice and not respond to the negative things that automatically pop into my head when I get stressed. It's really hard work, and sometimes exhausting in itself, but some days are better than others

This is my partners fourth child, so I can completely understand why he's so laid back. He also gets very excited about Bubs, so at least one of us is feeling that way! I don't think I've quite gotten there yet, but it's nice to see others get excited for us.

I need to remember no matter what happens to my Mum between now and Bub's birth that I have given her the best gift that a daughter can ever give, a grandchild. Even if she doesn't get to meet Bubs I've still shared that precious moment with her. And if she does make it that far, I've given her a reason to keep on going for a little bit longer and that makes Dad happy too.

Sometimes I don't feel much like posting, because I don't want to dump on you all the time. But thanks for being here for me.
love & hugs

Jods xxx

[LoveNeverFails]

Jesstickles: I remember my 1st pregnancy I felt the same... It wasn't totally real till my belly was starting to grow, I felt bub move and saw on second ultrasound. (I didn't get the downs one so that's usually the 3rd ultrasound I think). This time around I'm so busy it's not that it's not real, but sometimes I just forget I'm preggo lol. But with a bulging belly already and bub starting to get moving alot it's harder to forget for long :-) hahaha your hubby wanting u 2 remember the pelvic floor exercises... Gee I wonder why? Lolll. My hubby keeps telling me to go to bed if I'm up too late haha, curfew police.

JODS: the mindfulness thing would have been interesting. I reckon it's all about mindsets we develop, and need to change is all. Everyone has different issues and wrong ways of thinking that just need to be steered right. For heaps of people it's really changing the cup is half empty view to the cup is half full view. Positivity really is a great and simple secret weapon! And emotions. We were made to have and enjoy our emotions but we weren't supposed to let them take control of us. It can be super hard to change that habit but it is certainly achievable! That is a battle every human being had to fight. Some more than others though. I reckon they have you on the right track JODS, mind over matter. Enjoy the ride. Best way to go :-)

Have a grand weekend ladies!

[Jods14]

Yeah. I have a pretty good team and they will always support me no matter what. It's been hard work over the last four years or so to get to where I am now. And I must say I've come a very long way thanks to their guidance and support. And given we know where we are heading, I'm sure we will be able to come up with a plan to get me through to the end.

[Jods14]

I have my first class at the hospital tonight with the physios. Rob doesn't want to come because he doesn't want to be the only man in the room, even though I showed him the leaflet that says partners and careers welcome. I don't have a back up plan or someone to ask at such short notice. Most of who I could call on have small children or are too far away to come with me. I don't know what I'm going to do, except go by myself.
Do you think it would be mean if I told him that if he wasn't going to come to our classes then he can wait outside the delivery suite until Bubs is born? I've got until 6:30 tonight to change his mind and all afternoon to at least hatch a plan to get him there. But I don't like my chances.

[Miss_C]

the physio class we attended was very very hands on and a lot of the moves involved hubby - would not have been able to do at least 75% of the exercises without him.

Even if he is the only "Man" there surely that makes him even more "Manly" !!!! You know hubby best you know which angle to play