alcohol and teenagers

[eire]

DH and i are moving to his hometown in 2 weeks. there is a good possibility that his 17 year old sister may be staying with us or at least a few nights a week. she is 18 at the end of this year. DH seems to think it's a good idea to "teach" her responsible drinking/drinking in moderation, coz his dad did it for him and it "worked".

i am very against it because a. it is against the law regardless of what her friends are doing. b. all that new research that says introducing alcohol to teenagers while the brain is still developing is dangerous etc and a few other things.

we have agreed to disagree for the moment but i would love to hear some opinions/arguements, particularly for my case coz we have to choose a course of action before we go. DH seems to think the "scientific evidence" about the brain thing is a load of toss.

thanks.

[ProgrammingPanda]

I did not think it was against the law if on private property - which being your home would be?

As for would I, would I not.... I honestly dont know I can answer that yet as I am no where near in that situation myself.

All the best, and goodluck with the move

[preciousrose]

i would maybe talk to her about it.

do you know if she's been drinking wiht friends and things previously or if you guys were to offer her a drink would it be her 'first ever' kinda thing.

i understand the ads and stuff pushing the 'let the brain develop' stuff and everything... but remember too... if she is almost 18... then she'll make her own decisions very soon anyways... she has the right to.

i think those ads and things are pushing more to the point of people from like 12-16 years of age... that's my opinion anyways...

[Renee1]

I also dont have teenagers just yet but being a teenager not that long ago i would say i dont think it will matter whether you 'teach' her responsible drinking or not. If her friends go out and drink then so will she (whether she tells you or not) also my mum used to give me a couple of drinks to take with me wheni went out- didnt work still scored more alcohol on the night and if anything helped me get more drunk!(would never admit that to her tho!)

She is a teenager and quite close to the legal age so id take a quick guess and assume she is drinking already. I think its more important to talk to her about sexual behaviour while drinking and how 'easy' you can become when drinking IYKWIM.

Hope that helps

Oh and i think you DH is wrong i do agree with the scientific evidence.

[MsBoop]

I also dont have teenagers just yet but being a teenager not that long ago i would say i dont think it will matter whether you 'teach' her responsible drinking or not. If her friends go out and drink then so will she (whether she tells you or not) also my mum used to give me a couple of drinks to take with me wheni went out- didnt work still scored more alcohol on the night and if anything helped me get more drunk!(would never admit that to her tho!)

She is a teenager and quite close to the legal age so id take a quick guess and assume she is drinking already. I think its more important to talk to her about sexual behaviour while drinking and how 'easy' you can become when drinking IYKWIM.

Hope that helps

Oh and i think you DH is wrong i do agree with the scientific evidence.

^^^ what she said!
chances are, she has probably done it before and will probably do it again! So maybe teaching her about 'responsible' drinking is not such a bad idea....mainly just teaching her to know her limits-or checking that she already knows them and also the sex thing when under the influence.

When i was a teenager recently lol, i got drunk every chance i got.
My parents would, on occasion, allow us to have like a shandy or something with them if it was new years or xmas or something but im 100% sure whether they did that or not, i waas still getting plastered at such&such's house this saturday IYKWIM. But on nights when my parents would allow us a drink or two id thoroughly enjoy it and also couldnt get plastered with them there pluis they wouldnt let us so it was nice to experience "social drinking" cuz i enjoyed the taste of the alcohol i was drinking, rather than drinking whatever i could get my hands on as fast as i could for the reaction..........

good luck...i think you guys willfigure it out when the time comes.

[JanelleC]

When I was in school (10+years ago now lol seems like a lifetime away!) all my friends were drinking and always used to tell me stories about getting drunk over the weekend, this would be 16-17 year olds. Lucky for me I wasn't actually interested and I didn't start until I was around 19 and a half. Sure I was offered when I was 18, but said no, wasn't really interested. A few times I did drink too much, as I didn't know my limit, but when your out having fun, you just keep on drinking. Chances would be quite high in saying that she has at some stage come into contact with alcohol. You will never know and she will most likely never tell you if she is actually drinking. I think teaching her to drink responsibile is a good idea. Tell her for every 2 alcohol drinks it's a good idea to have a non alcoholic one, and also to eat when your drinking too. Might be a good idea to mention about sexual behaviour whilst drinking too, not for girls but the sexual behaviour of men, and some men can get quite abusive if they don't get their own way, and when you've had a few to drink yourself you don't have the strength or balance as what you would have when your sober.

[babymunn]

As a teenager, I had my first drink at 15. a Rum and Coke and my dad made me finish it. I hated it, and it put me off for a little while. Until of course, the parties began, the boys became more interesting and it got me into a little bit of trouble. I must admit I had a really good relationship with my Mum and I was always very honest with her and she with me about drinking and consequences of it etc.

technically she is under age until she turns 18. And as others have mentioned, if she is already drinking, maybe its best to establish that trust and build a relationship based on that before your DH starts to 'teach' her about drinking... afterall she will be under your roof for 3 nights a week or whatever and as my mum used to say, 'If your under my roof, then my rules come first.'

Hope that helps - again I think Trust is the basis creating this relationship and making the arrangement work.

[littlekite]

I think teaching her to drink responsibile is a good idea. Tell her for every 2 alcohol drinks it's a good idea to have a non alcoholic one, and also to eat when your drinking too. Might be a good idea to mention about sexual behaviour whilst drinking too, not for girls but the sexual behaviour of men, and some men can get quite abusive if they don't get their own way, and when you've had a few to drink yourself you don't have the strength or balance as what you would have when your sober.

I agree with this. Considering she is almost 18, it is very likely she is already drinking, and has friends over 18 who can easily supply her with alcohol. You don't need to give her the alcohol to teach her about making sure she doesn't drink on an empty stomach, making sure she drinks enough water to avoid dehydration (and hangovers- that might help motivate her!) and to make sure she and her friends watch out for each other.

[eire]

hey guys...

that's half the issue, she isn't really wanting to drink yet at this stage so is it stupid to introduce it already? she is been in contact with boys who are drunk and probably more needs instruction on what to do in those situations...

[preciousrose]

if she doesnt; seem interested in it then i wouldn;t be pushign it...

speak about it i think... chat wit her and perhaps offer her one if you 'feel comfortable' doing it. she may turn you down... which of course would be a good thing!

and if you jus tchat about her and alcohol and the boys and situations that can arise that can;t hurt.