TTC doing my head in

[brand new mum]

So it's only month #1, but already it's doing my head in!! Last time it happened first time for us - I had a cycle that was on average 30 days, counted 14 days in, used saliva as lubricant, DTD 3 times and woila, it happened. This time I'm using OPKs (still no positive reading here), have a cycle that's all over the place (still BFing), looking for EWCM (a bit hard to tell since we've been DTD for a few days now, but I don't think I have had EWCM), onto day 5 of DTD and using pre-seed and the whole process is killing me already I'm eagerly awaiting the OPK test every day, and hoping like crazy every time I go to the toilet that I see some EWCM, but nuddah. I'm holding onto the hope that although the OPKs are negative, that I may be ovulating anyway, as one birther mentioned once before (sorry can't remember who) - that despite the negative OPKs, she fell pregnant anyway.

No real point to this post, I guess just wanted to share with someone that we've started TTC #2 - it's a bit exciting and I guess it's not really something you can drop over coffee, "Oh, by the way, DH and I are sh@gging like rabbits for the first time in 21 months because we trying to have another baby." And I guess because I can't share it with others that I also can't air my frustrations at the OPK and EWCM not coming to the party - literally.

I think I just have to suck it up, it could be a long ride

[SamIfor2yrs]

Good luck with it all BNM

Try not to let it rule the way you are thinking cause it will stress you out to them max!!!

I know how frustrating it is TTC and it's not getting you anywhere.............

Good luck with it all (((((((((GBH))))))))))

[overtherainbow]

Why not just trying to relax about it all and just having sex with your hubby when you both feel like it? If it was easy enough the first time it will probably just happen when your body is ready

[MandaMoo]

Which OPK's are you using? I used cheapie ones off ebay and they worked for me, but I know some ladies in the TTC group that they don't work for. They had to buy the expensive supermarket ones.

[brand new mum]

GRRRRR!!!! I think I'm actually getting AF tonight. WTF?!!

This has been my cycle over the last few months: 42, 40, 38, 35, 42. So I've been looking for EWCM and like I said, I'm pretty sure I haven't had any, and today is day 30!!!! I've been checking with the OPK for about 10 days, and we started DTD on day 26 (I figured I was heading for another 42 day cycle, with O happening about day 28 for me). If AF has gone and done the dirty on me by being super early (compared to every other time) and catching me unawares, I'll be so cranky! Oh well, next month.

Originally Posted by overtherainbow

Why not just trying to relax about it all and just having sex with your hubby when you both feel like it?

LOL!!! If we did that we would NEVER have sex. The last time we did was when we conceived DD

Mandamoo, I'm using the lullaby ones??

Thank you for your hugs. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being there so I can share with you all something I can't do IRL.

[BrookeSyd]

Bugger if AF is coming tonight! That would explain the negative OPK's though.

How about this for a suggestion, since your cycle length appears to be all over the place, do you think you have the stamina to go every second night for a whole cycle? You are guaranteed not to miss O, and if it happens the first month you try, it will have been well worth it. If that seems like waaaay too much DTD, then you are probably safe not starting until day 10/11 (in case you get another 30 day cycle I wouldn't wait until much later than that to start).

Good luck!!

[SalSam]

I just could not get UTD whilst b/f, just wouldn't happen for me.

I also got negative OPK's the month I did actually become pregnant so don't put too much faith in those either. Good luck

[brand new mum]

After some thought I just wanted to say I mean no disrespect or disregard for those of you whose TTC journey has been long, or painful or not gone to plan. I realised that my little rant at month #1 may have come across as insensitive. I'm sorry. Sam1for2years, I guess I'm directing this at you. Thank you so much for well wishes when I see that your journey has been a long one.

So, DD's fed and asleep. I'm showered and now sitting with a glass of red. Have had some time to think and have a few random (seriously random) thoughts. Just getting them down on paper so to speak. There are some positives to come of this:

- maybe it's time for DH and I to reconnect in the bedroom. Seriously, 21 months is really too long.
- maybe I'm not quite ready, anyway. Maybe I'm a little scared because DD is still waking 3-5 times a night. Why am I in a rush anyway? I don't get why it's such a big deal to have less than 2 years between #1 and #2. maybe I need this time to try and work this out - surely there's a reason behind this irrational 'race' I have in my head. I need to be grateful for what I have and give my time, love and attention to #1 (not that I'm not, but I do tend to become obsessive about things)
- the possibility of DD self-weaning due to reduced supply or other has just been moved further away (one thing I desperately didn't want to happen)
- maybe AF has decided it will go back to my pre-preg cycle of 30 days, so I won't have long to wait anyway.
- it's one more month of getting my head in the right space re healthy attitude to healthy lifestyle, physically, emotionally, mentally.

So, onwards and upwards

BrookSyd, thank you for your advice. I could probably handle every second night, but DH won't. He wasn't too happy about having to DTD every night the last 4 nights. He thinks his boys get 'watered down' too much IYKWIM and finds it a challenge to 'come to the party'

But, I do have some questions that I was hoping you might be able to help me with.

- Considering my 'all-over-the-shop' cycles (42, 40, 38, 35, 42, 30) , when do you think I should start using the OPKs?
- What about DTD for the fun of it?, especially if I do want to reconnect with DH in the bedroom. I read somewhere (not sure where), that if you're TTC, you should DTD sparingly before Ov to ensure a good dose of good swimmers (this sounds a bit dodge, though, is it?)
- Is there any truth to the boys being 'watered down' as DH thinks there might be?

Thanks again - I'm so glad that I have this forum to lean on......

[brand new mum]

Originally Posted by SalSam

I just could not get UTD whilst b/f, just wouldn't happen for me.

I also got negative OPK's the month I did actually become pregnant so don't put too much faith in those either. Good luck

Salsam, can you clarify, the one month I used OPKs to check out if I was O, I got a positive reading. I have been getting EWM and have had what I figure are ovulating cramps about 14 days before AF, can I assume that I am ovulating despite BFing? I really don't want to give up BFing and actually have a dream of tandem feeding.

[MandaMoo]

I haven't heard anything bad about lullaby conceptions.

Its sooo frustrating trying to work out your cycles. Mine were anywhere between 21 and 40 days long. I ended up OPKing every day as temping & CM tracking wasn't constistent enough for me.... that plus after BT's we realised I only O every 3rd cycle or so.

Good luck xx