First time mums 40+

[Miss_C]

Hi all, just looking for a group of mums who had their first bubs at 40 and up. I read the Ommies threads but still don't feel a part of that as most seem to have other children as well. I would love to have a group of people that can talk to each other and be on the same page!

My "Due In" group is awesome and we are mostly all still in touch which is great but again I still feel a little distant from that. I am sure I will find more 40 pluses when I start to try for Number 2 at 42 but am in a bit of limbo here and now.

Does all of that make sense?

[daysea]

I wasnt 40 when I had my one and only child but I was 38 is that close enough

Kim

[Excited]

I was 44 when I had my first (Oct '09). Just learning the ropes myself.

About to go back to work DH will stay at home for a yr, then we will swap. I will miss her a lot.... and I am afraid I will miss out on all her firsts. Hope she saves them for the weekends

Sue

[Miss_C]

hellooooooooooooooooo!!

Oh excited I feel for you - thought I would go back to work at 6 months but when 6 months came I started to have panic attacks and knew I couldn't do it - I do know what a lucky position I am in to hve been able to stay home, financially it has been really hard but otherwise everything else is good. I think DS has benefited from being home with me and when he turnd 12 months I started sending his to daycare one day a week to socialise him with other kids his age. Being older means all our friends kids are at school. So it's great that hubby can stay home and then swap. You won't miss the firsts, DP would get home and I wouldn't tell him if DS had done something so it would be like him seeing it for the first time too, perhaps you and DP can agree to this?

Daysea of course 38 is not too young lol!! Did you still get the "advanced maternal age" in all your appointments? I swear I wanted to throttle someone every time they said it! Do you plan having any more? How old is bubs now?

DP and I plan to start trying for No 2 in another couple of months - hopefully this will then shut my doctor up who has been banging on at me since the birth that I have a less than 5% take home rate etc and should not delay the 2 years we planned etc before no 2. I realise I have the odds stacked against me but I just go in the belief that if it's meant to be it's meant to be. DS was not planned at all, I was on the pill and he was a complete surprise!!

[daysea]

Hello,

I had a very dodgy obstetritian but I wont go into that or Ill be venting away for an essays worth.

We decided when I was 37 that we wanted a child so I went of the pill Ide been on for 15 years and was pregnant within a month. Had a failry unevenful pregnancy until at 26 weeks bam instant HELLP syndrome (Similar to Eclampsia but with lots of other life threatening lovely things as well)

So dd ended up being born via emergency caesar at 26weeks and spent months in hospital and had many many problems.

Now however she is 4 years old and just so wonderful. We are so amazingly fortunate in that she has very few long term effects from her very early and traumatic birth.

Noone could tell us why it happened. There are many possible reasons out there but noone knows why HELLP syndrome happens but its not to do with age at all.

Anyway needless to say no we are not going back for anymore just the one for us (DH has 2 teenage children from his first marraige and they come and stay regularly and DD has a really lovely relationship with them and just adores them).

So Im 43 this year and so very very happy I changed my mind about having a child, noone could have prepared me for the complete change in yourself that comes about once you have a child

I was very fortunate in having a friend care for DD from when she was 1 until she was 2 years old while I worked (I work 4 days a week). Then she went to family day care and has now been at a daycare/preschool for the last year and she loves it. I have a very very fleible job so no stress when DD is sick I just stay home and do any work I need to do from home and they are fine with that, Im very lucky in so many ways

I did the same re the firsts. My friend didnt tell me (bless her) if DD did anything while she was with her so the first was when I was home caring for her

Anyway nice to chat to you I dont know many mums of young babies/kids in my age bracket most are a fair bit younger or have teenagers not little ones.

Kim

[Effie]

hi... I was nearly 37 when I had DD (am now 39) and am part of the Ommies 'group' (as is Sue - Excited) - there are quite a few of us that have 'just' younger children but it is quite quiet in the thread at the moment. Am very happy to chat too but work full time so am a little limited with time on births (coffee breaks and lunch )

Like Kim (Daysea) DP already had a son when we met, and DD will be our only child together for a whole lot of reasons.

DD started childcare when she was 3 months old (4 days a week) and for me I never felt like I missed the 'firsts' because even if she did something at daycare when she did it for me at home was the first time I saw it iykwim? I have a great relationship with all the carers and they would often show me what she was doing when I went to pick her up - I pretty much consider them like extended family.

Best go for now but if you feel like jumping into the Ommies thread at any time its a really friendly place to be - just quiet due to a lot of things that are going on for a lot of us.

[Candy]

hey it's great to find your message.I'm 41 and our first bubby is due May 16th.We also lost our baby last year at 10 weeks,so I understand how you feel.We are now atarting week 30! All is well so far,though we picked up a little irregularity in her heartbeat last week so will have ascan tomorrow to check if all ok.Our OB( who is the chief OB at our hospital) wasn't too concerned as HB was a strong 138BPM and she moves constantly,so much so we have nicknamed her "Lil ninja". Would love to be in touch with you and share our stories.
All the best and congratulations, Regards Candy
PS;I'm not too good at these computers and how it all works so I hope this makes it's way to you.

[Excited]

Candy congrats, hope everything goes well in your scan. I had a few extra scans, the bonus when all is well is you get to see Bubs again.

Come and join us in the Ommies thread (older mums) Hi (W) Ommies #38

Sue

[Papaya]

Hi MissC,

I'm having my first bub in August and will be 40 by then. I posted a bit in the Ommies group and they are very warm and welcoming but like others said it's pretty quiet in there at the moment.

Everyone in my DIG seems to have the time and the engergy to do 'personals' all the time but I can't hack the pace (and the scrolling through the pages of posts that I've missed each time) so I feel a bit left out there and a bit of a stranger when I do post. Maybe it's just me though!!!

Anyway I'd be happy to chat to other 'geriatrics'. To be honest we haven't come across the AMA or geriatric terminology except for the health care folk telling us as a joke but still early days here at 16 weeks.

[Excited]

So my first day back at work full time is Mar 9th - 1 week away (sigh), but you're right I won't miss the firsts because we have iphone.... I have taken movies of her rolling & blowing raspberries and sent them straight to DH. He promises to do the same for me.