'Girls ready for babies at 14'

[SaintAnk]

LINK

What do you think?



I must say I disagree... I'd be very unhappy (at my current age etc) if I'd've been allowed to have a baby at 14, and I know that if the option had've been possible (socially acceptable), I would have done it (cept at that age I was still super scared of boys LOL) but I know I would have regretted the lack of freedom as soon as the baby actually got there/during my late teens.
I do feel awful for the author though, that she never got to have children... It's so sad. That's one of my biggest fears.

[MonkeyBoo]

Hmm, I have nothing at all against teen parents, but I myself wouldnt have wanted to be one. I come from a family with a strong history of teen pregnancies as does my DH (My mum had my brother at 16 and DH's mum was 17 when he was born) and THREE of my brothers girlfriends all fell pregnant to my brother in their teens (No, he doesnt have 3 kids, the girls had abortions against my brothers wishes, yes, my brother is an imbicile who needs to learn about contraception!) and the thought of getting pregnant as a teenager scared the beejeebus out of me... In fact DH started saying he wanted kids when I was 18... (he was 22) and I finally caved and agreed to start TTC when I was 21!

Now, there is nothing I love more than my DS and my Bubba Boo but I dont think I would have been the mum I am now if I had DS when I was 18, let alone 14!

[Nikkers]

Some girls can be really mature at 14, others very immature. Everybody is different, but IMO I do no think any 14 year old girl is truly ready to be a mother. 14 year old's are still developing physically and emotionally and I think having the added pressure of a newborn and all that comes with having children, would be a lot to handle so young.

Yes most 14 year olds can have children, but I don't really think they should be planning it IYKWIM. And I am in no way against teen pregnancies either...

[choco]

i have nothing at all against teen mums who fall pregnant accidently my best friend had her daughter at 15 now she is 22. but i dont think 14 year olds are "ready" to have children. and i think underage teens TTC is not right. just my opinion.

[Smurfette]

Wow, talk about taking a strong feminist viewpoint!!

I don't think there is a sane person in this country that would suggest 14 years of age is an ideal time to have a child. Sure, they may want to - but they're still children themselves, they still have a lot to learn about life and about themselves, and that deeper understanding of the world is what can make a huge difference to your approach to parenthood IMO.

I was a month off 21 when I had my DD. I was younger than society dictates to be 'normal' these days, but had still had the chance to get an education, get a job, move out of home, drive a car - all those things that add up to a deeper maturity level and more realistic understanding of the world. I was however, with hindsight, still incredibly naive about the world, despite the fact that I would have declared otherwise. I still have a lot to learn now, at the age of 24, about myself, about where I stand in the world, and about what I want to do with my life. That learning never stops, there's no magic age where you know everything there is to know, but I think there's a lot to be said for having children at an age where you've had as many opportunities as possible to get out there, see and know the world for what it is and THEN to settle down.

[KLB]

I'm sorry, what is the actual legal age for consenual sex in this country?? Unless Im out of touch, I thought it certainly wasnt 14?! How can you be TTC when your illegally having sex? If im wrong, please someone correct or just let me know the correct age!!

[choco]

it varies from state to state, i *think* in SA its 16 but not sure

[maybe baby 3]

Its illegal under 16 if the boy is over 16.

I had my first when i was 17 and i know i was too young. 14 and TTC, tells me there is something they might be missing in their lives and feel a need to fill a void of some sort..

[Jaybe]

I hadnt even got my period at 14... neither had alot of my grade at school (and im only 25 so it wasnt *that* long ago).

Most girls at 14 would've barely finished growing themselves - I certainly do not think just because they can is a good enough reason to be a mother when theyre still developing physically themselves. Whether theyre mature or not is irrelevant, I believe studies still show most females are not fully developed until approx 16-17 and having a baby is incredibly taxing on mothers. If youre at all calcium deficient baby will literally suck it out of your teeth & bones, making you prone to osteoporosis and dental issues for the rest of your life. It isnt as simple as concieving bub and pushing it out - there is an incredibly complex physical change at play too.

[Japh]

Whilst I don't agree that 14 is an ideal age to have a baby in this society I understand the point of the author that has suggested this.

I guess what I take from what she is saying is that for some women/girls 14 or there abouts is a good age in a society that would provide for it - not in the current social circumstances we have today. If it were the case that society was structured in a way that it was supported then I figure there are probably many women out there who could be great mums at that age. TBH I think I would possibly be one of those women. BUT the same women in our actual society today would most likely not have the same experience iykwim? Also I do think that even in a society where this was the norm and worked well you'd be hard pressed to find a situation where children would be with both their mother and father. To me it suggests that the fathers are not an important factor in this scenario. An lets face it - not many people are still in love with the person they were in love with at 14. If that were the case then I'd be married to a member of the band East 17

It is a moot point really - we are never going to be a society that would be accepting or supportive of what this woman is suggesting. Also considering that this age eons ago was a typical childbearing age and we have progressed in social norms and lifestyle since then I'm pretty confident that it will never really be something that will happen in the future either... Unless there is some type of catastrophie where there is no longer the means to sustain our lifestyle and it is the only way of ensuring the fate of the human race....