http://forum.birth.com.au A place to discuss your beliefs in relation to pregnancy, birth and parenting en Sat, 21 Nov 2009 01:12:45 GMT vBulletin 60 http://forum.birth.com.au/images/misc/rss.jpg http://forum.birth.com.au http://forum.birth.com.au/spirituality-pregnancy-birth-parenting/85771-need-genuine-christian-help-advice.html Thu, 12 Nov 2009 09:10:15 GMT This may turn out to be long, and if any of my friends who were on the ttc journey read this, none of my anger is at you. You have done the hard yards and I am genuinely happy for you, even if I do cry about it. My tears are my pain. Anyway, I am in need of some sound, understanding christian... This may turn out to be long, and if any of my friends who were on the ttc journey read this, none of my anger is at you. You have done the hard yards and I am genuinely happy for you, even if I do cry about it. My tears are my pain.

Anyway, I am in need of some sound, understanding christian advice/thoughts etc. I don't want "just trust God" or "it's His will" type platitudes. I am being 100% honest and genuine here and need something more/better than that.

I grew up in a household where i was physically, emotionally and s*xually abused. Most of it stopped by the time I was 11, just not the emotionaly abuse. That continued, and my mum still tries it on today. Most of the time it has a lot less effect than when I was a kid. I became a christian when I was 13. I was desperate, suicidal and needed a way out. God was that way out and over time I developed what I thought was a genuine faith and a genuine relationship. In my mid 20's some stupid stuff happened at the church I was at and my husband and i walked away for about 6-7 years. We still believed in God but didn't go to church and in that time I didn't read my bible etc much.

In 2007 I began to look at new churchrs and to pray again. Our DD was conceived via ivf after 3 years of ttc. It was a long and painful journey to that point. So now, 2 years later we are back on the ttc path. I managed to conceive naturally early this year but had a miscarriage in June and have had no luck since.

THe pain of the miscarriage and infertility are bad, but what hurts worse is feeling like I have been abandoned by God. Deep down, because of the abuse I experienced as a child I have always felt that I am not acceptable to God. I know the bible says we need only believe and accept Jesus' sacrifice for us but I always feel like maybe I didn't say the prayer right or maybe I don't truly believe. Because I feel completely, utterly, totally unloved by God. And I don't want to feel that way. I have prayed I won't feel that way, that God will help me to know Him and have a relationship with Him, that He will help take my doubts away but to no avail.

He won't answer those prayers so that I can know I am a child of God and He won't answer my prayers for another child. I figure this desperate longing for a big family is from God, but He won't answer my prayers so it seems like a cruel joke.

Today I told God I give up and that I am walking away but I can't beause deep down I know there is a God and I believe it is the Christian one. So I feel right royally scr*wed by God. I am not Job. I am not going to survive the testing of my faith. I will walk away at some point.

I need help. I need people who have been there, who know what it feels like to feel abandoned by God and I need hope. I need to God to find me because it just ain't working as it is. And I want to give up.

Tess ]]> Spirituality - pregnancy, birth and parenting tess2007 http://forum.birth.com.au/spirituality-pregnancy-birth-parenting/85771-need-genuine-christian-help-advice.html http://forum.birth.com.au/spirituality-pregnancy-birth-parenting/85461-mediums-spirits-etc.html Fri, 06 Nov 2009 08:27:24 GMT Has anyone had any experiences with spirits, mediums or anything like them that they would like to share? Has anyone had any experiences with spirits, mediums or anything like them that they would like to share? ]]> Spirituality - pregnancy, birth and parenting misssy http://forum.birth.com.au/spirituality-pregnancy-birth-parenting/85461-mediums-spirits-etc.html